A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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