So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
