worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
