This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
