This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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