was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
