Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
