And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
