For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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