you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My ass is underappreciated
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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