OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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