When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Boobs are out for the taking
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
