Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
