What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
