Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Found the puke drawer
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
