matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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