Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
