Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We have so much sex to catch up on
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
