also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
