thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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