Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
