This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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