I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
