and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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