Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
