i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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