I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
