When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
