Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
