how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
