I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
