YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
