Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
