Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
