we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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