Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
