i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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