Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
