we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Someone signed my nipple.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
