at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
