I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
