So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
