my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
