so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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