So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
