im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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