Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
