She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
4 words: hood of his car
i love accidental penises.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
