Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
