all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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