My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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