i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
